no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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