New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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