So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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