This is not my ceiling
This girl is more easily done than said...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
