if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
