He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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