My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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