I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
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On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
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I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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