so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
