so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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