brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize