I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
