Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize