Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
