yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
