Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
