How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
