And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
