So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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