if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
