she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
