I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
