He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
