that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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