she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
