In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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