I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
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Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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