Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
