Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
