I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize