What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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