You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
