Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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