Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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