where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
