she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
