I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
