they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
