..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
