3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I will pee on everything he values.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize