UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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