mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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