I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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