yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
