She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize