did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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