How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
