I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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