just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
