I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
