We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
