I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he fucked my hip out of place.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
