Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
