how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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