I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
