Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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