I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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