Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
