Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
