Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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