Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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