I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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