If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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