there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
